Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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