Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
