Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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