no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
