you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
