i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
