Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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