so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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