I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize