That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
