Please, let me fuck your mom
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
