I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize