He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
