From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
