I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
