On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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