what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
