Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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