Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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