I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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