Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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