so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
