How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
