Three words: puerto rican gang bang
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
