I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize