Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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