Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
