I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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