He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And then my night got REAL pukey
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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