The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
