I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize