And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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