I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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