Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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