he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
