on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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