He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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