i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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