I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
