Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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