In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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