the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I look better un-naked...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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