How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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