she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
