How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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