Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
