dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize