you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
