i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
