she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
