That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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