I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
