The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
