what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
