I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Never underestimate the power of titties
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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