I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
