just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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