I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
