1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
In America we eat man semen.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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