I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have aggressive nipples.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
