my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
