Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
