pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize